The Men Behind the Blooms

We talk about what real support looks like when you run a wedding florist business and your marriage has to flex with busy season. We share the specific ways our husbands show up differently, plus the communication and money conversations we are still working on. 
• finding joy in flowers even on errand days 
• recognizing that spouse support can look wildly different 
• Christian handling physical event work like loading, unloading, cleanup, and calm people energy 
• building trust so we can be direct on wedding days without taking it personally 
• Cody supporting big ideas, investments, and business decisions while focusing on childcare 
• noticing how personality types shape who thrives on event days 
• shifting gender roles and the mental load over time 
• asking for help clearly and letting roles ebb and flow with wedding season 
• navigating anxiety around money talks, budgeting, and bookkeeping for creatives 
• why husband content goes viral and the stories that prove they listen 
Everyone go bully Cody online somewhere. I want Cody to start an Instagram. 

Transcript

Target Returns Anxiety And Flower Joy

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, you guys, and welcome back to the Lunch Club podcast. I am so excited because Johanna and I are actually recording this back to back with our recipes and ordering, but we are just doing ourselves a solid with the insane week that Johanna's about to have in Italy. Um, and we're prepping for that. So we won't be adding a high and low for this one because we haven't had anything new happen to us.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Wait, I will say just kind of like a cute moment I had this week, and I just was kind of reflecting. Um, I was at Target. Um, and okay, wait, this is perfect because we're gonna talk about our husbands today. Yes. That's what this episode's about, and a fun little insight on my marriage, uh, my mental unwellbeing, and how amazing my husband is. I hate doing returns. I hate doing returns.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

I think that's like the funniest thing to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

I get so anxious. I don't know why. I get so anxious, my cheeks get flushed. I don't know. I it's like in my mind, I think I'm gonna get in trouble for returning something. And the person's gonna be like, No, you dumb bitch. You can't return this lip gloss. You already used it. Go home.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Shut up. That's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

I'm so nervous. Okay, so I was at Target. Christian was doing my returns for me. I literally give him my phone, I give him the returns because my phone has like the receipts on it. I give him the returns, and then he goes and waits in line and he does the return. And if I even watch him and it feels like there's like it's taking longer than normal, I start to get stressed. So I I go somewhere else. I was in Target, I go to the dollar section, I don't even look at him because I'm like nervous for zero reason. And I saw the flowers there, and I was just like, ooh, like what do they have? And I was like, Oh, that's that's fun. They have like the Lege Marone carnes. Um, and then they had a really pretty yellow spray garden rose for like five bucks. And I just was kind of looking at them and I was like, that's so cute that this is my job. And I still am interested in like what Target has. And then it's fun for me to see what they have. And that happens with flowers everywhere. Like driving on the side of the road today, I was like, oh, Christian, like what are those flowers right there? They're so pretty. I think it's like a blown-open spray rose. And um, when we travel, I love seeing a flower shop. And I'm like, oh, let's go inside the flower shop. Flowers bring me so much joy, and I think it's fun that like I'm going to Italy for work, okay, and I'm doing flowers there and I'm planning my week. And I'm like, okay, before we pick up the flowers, I think it'd be fun to go to a flower shop, buy some flowers for myself, and then make a cute bouquet and like take some content. Like before the work even starts, I'm like, let's let's do more work, like let's have more flowers. And I I don't know. But it doesn't always feel like work, you know. I I kind of was thinking about it in terms in terms of like birding. People really like to bird. And it's like, oh, like, why is it so fun to go out with your little binoculars and see a bird and like know all these bird calls? And like people really like that. And and I I think there's just something special about having knowledge about nature and then getting the little like triumphs of seeing something you recognize that's beautiful in the wild, you know? Yeah, it's like so special when you're like, oh, there's sweepie growing right there in the ground. That's so amazing.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

I'm always like, those peonies right there, that's worth $60. Yeah. I'm like, that person could be making so much money. Yeah. So I'm like, those hydrangeas are a big deal. You don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

I always am annoyed when I'm outside like a store and there's flowers that are growing so beautifully, and I'm like, I don't understand how these are just growing here, and I try so hard to grow something in my yard, and I like tend it and I'm so careful and it dies. Like, why are the Costco flowers looking so good? And I can't, anyways. But that was that was like my cute little moment this week of being like, uh, I'm glad this is my job, and I'm glad that I love it so much that it like truly is a passion.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

Honestly, it's a fun job, and I do feel like we it's funny because like we go back and forth between being like, this isn't just like a pretty little job, but then we're like, but it actually like kind of is like I do really enjoy it, and I will say, like, that's one thing that people when they ask me, like, oh, what are you doing? I say I'm a florist, and they're like, Oh my gosh, that's a fun, and I'm like, you know what? Yeah, like I really do enjoy my job. I love getting to be a part of people's celebrations, I love being able to help flowers be meaningful for people on more somber occasions. Like, I do think that what we do is very filling, and we're just so lucky. So a love letter to flowers. That's cute.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I feel like the duality of that, of it being like, oh, like this is hard work, but also it is a pretty little job, is such a perfect metaphor for just being a woman. Like, if you think about what it's like to be a woman and the strength and power we hold, you think about like childbirth, you think about our monthly cycles, like how strong we are, and then like the softness of being a woman and the just really the nurturing, the sweet parts of us, the but then it's like you hold both, and that's what our jobs are. So I that's why I think so many women are drawn to it.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yeah, I agree. How deep, how inside us we're just so in touch.

Why Spouse Support Looks Different

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Okay, well, today's episode is about how our power how our couple dynamics with our significant others are a little bit different and how they support us in our businesses. We've talked about this a lot because it's just funny, like, I think everyone's spouse shows up in a different way, and some things are very helpful and meaningful to one person, where some person's version of showing up might be very, very different. And we definitely have husbands on the different sides of the spectrum as far as involvement or um, yeah, I would just say like involvement in our business and what that really looks like, and I just we've talked about this before, and we feel like it would be kind of fun just to kind of share like what that dynamic looks like, and maybe you can relate to some of these. If you don't have a significant other, maybe this just kind of gives you some little insight into what you, you know, maybe could ask for from someone in your life, or if that time comes, like you know, what does that dynamic look like? Because I do feel like people ask me often, like, oh, and like, does Cody come to all your weddings with you? And for me, it was like kind of like a laugh. I'm like, yeah, right, like that's funny, but for Johanna, like that's definitely more the case, and we kind of want to get into it. So, do you want to start first? Tell us about the dynamic or involvement that Christian has in the business. Um, and that can be like in the behind the scenes business, and of course, like day of type stuff.

Christian The Event-Day Workhorse

SPEAKER_01 7:03

So the very first time that Christian and I met was at a wedding and we were both working it. Both of our moms a good meet cue. Yes, both of our moms were uh very helpful in church, like helping with church weddings, and the I don't know what it is about my ward here. You would think like California, so posh, like the Mormon weddings are probably so posh. No, no, no, no. The Mormon weddings are in a church gym, nine times out of ten.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

They kind of give like more Utah Mormon wedding than the Utah Mormon wedding. It's giving Utah Mormon wedding 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Whereas I think with I think with social media, Utah has become this like influencer hub and feels very current, very up to date with trends and very influenced by each other. And so now the weddings are all really pretty and everybody's having them in a venue.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Whereas even if but even if they are DIY, like there's some task too, like everyone does know someone, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah, so and that's just not really how it was growing up. Like everybody had their wedding in the church gym, and my mom helped with those, and Christian's mom helped with those, and we met, I think I was uh 14, uh, I think. And I remember I'd just gone to the beach that day. I love the beach, I love the ocean, I love the sea. Um, and I had gone swimming and I didn't do my hair after, like I just got out, and my hair was like this big curly mess with like you know, the salt water and the wind. And Christian, the first thing he said to me is, Hey, I really like your hair. And I was like, Thank you. I just got out of the ocean. I went to the ocean today, so it's like a beachy wave. Like, I thought I was such a cool girl that I had just gone to the beach that day, and that's why my hair was like crazy. I it was like my so it was my moment to shine, you know?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

So that's the first time we met, and uh, we just continued to help out at weddings. I became best friends with his little sister, and literally for years and years, we all were just helping behind the scenes at weddings, like making food and setting up the tables and cleaning up afterwards. And I was thinking about Christian today. Uh, he's been incredible as we are preparing for Italy. He just packed all the bags today, and I was just kind of watching him, and I was like, Christian was made for us. Christian comes from a family that, first of all, is in the church, right? Where the values they're teaching are service, kindness to others, like compassion. He comes from a mom who again, kindness, compassion, always looking out for how you can help other people, but then also that wedding touch, like she was always helping with weddings. His dad, work horse, the hardest worker I know, like he will just grind himself to the ground. And he Christian grew up like mowing lawns with his dad, and then when he got a little bit older, building fences with his dad. So, like, Christian is a worker, he's a hustler. Though all of those things combined, like crafted this superhuman. I I'm not kidding. He was meant for this. He was made for me. I like there must be a God out there. He made Christian Hoag like for me because he's the perfect florist husband. He's amazing and he helps in so many ways. Um the pretty much like the main thing that Christian doesn't do is design. He'll do like bud vases if I need him to. Um, he'll process if I need him to, if I'm really busy, and I'm like, hey, could you just process these flowers quickly? But uh for the most part, his job is loading and unloading. Um on setup day, I'm like a little tornado. I just like run around and do my thing and leave my mess, and Christian just follows behind and cleans it up. So once I'm done at the welcome sign, I leave the bucket, I leave the garbage on the ground, I walk away, and I tell Christian, like, welcome sign's done. And he goes to the welcome sign and he cleans everything up. So it's so cute. I can't say enough good things about him.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

And and he's like, we need to paint this picture a little bit more, okay? Like he's not involved in the back end of things, right? Like, does he help do accounting? No accounting, does he do any of like that? No. And he doesn't do like and wait, he comes to every wedding with you.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

He comes to I would say about 50% of them. I think he used to come to more, but like now that I'm more established and stuff, like we kind of will talk like, ooh, do we think you could miss this one? Will I hire more help for this one? Could I could I do it without you? Because he's a teacher, and my weddings are usually on his off time, which in one way that's so great. He's available to help me. But in another, I don't want to take all of his free time away from him, you know? I'm like, okay, go be a teacher. And now on your weekends and during your summer, you're gonna work for me. Then he never gets a break. So we we do kind of discuss now, like, okay, I really need you for this, or I don't, I don't need you for this. Um, the ones that I don't have him there for, I'm not kidding. I have to hire like three people in his place to replace him because that is how much work he does.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

And I do like it's hard. We've talked about this in our freelancing episode, but like it's hard for people to want to do that stuff sometimes. Like, it's not always the fun, like the oh yes, let me sweep the floor, like let me dump all these buckets out. It's not necessarily like difficult, it's just like it's just not the thing you're jumping to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Um, the other reason I love him on event day is with other freelancers, I feel like I worry about how I'm coming across, and I feel like I have to say please and thank you. With Christian, there's just such a basic understanding that we love and respect each other. Christian and I don't really argue. Like, I've actually been working in therapy for the last year of like, how can I argue more with Christian?

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Because we just don't really argue. And and I do feel like there's something to be said too, like within the dynamic of like you guys did meet very young. We grew up together. So you know each other very well. Like you are what year in your marriage are you even at? Uh August will be You get close to 10. Yep. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. So, like, this is not like a new dynamic of like how do we communicate to each other? Like, Johanna's a florist now. Like, I feel like that also goes into play of like he knows your intention, he knows yeah, like what you mean by things, like if you are a little bit snappier, like it's it's just funny.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Like it's just not it's just so nice because I can just ex I can just say exactly what I need. Hey, grab that, get the ladder, move this. And he knows I'm not mad, like it's just it's just me being quick and effective, and you know. Um, so yeah, Christian is very hands-on with the physical aspects of the business, and usually more so on the actual event day, he's not really doing a ton of prep um with me. Uh he the the big the big thing he does is uh make he makes me food and he cleans up my messes. So I'll be working like in the flower room for 10 hours. He'll be, he does his work, he comes home, he'll play a game, whatever. I'm not expecting him to come help me. But when I finish, he will have dinner for me and I'll just say, Hey, can you go clean up? And I just again leave my mess and he goes in and he cleans up for me. So um, but yeah, on event day, he's amazing. He's yeah, again, very, very involved, but like you said, not with not with the back end, nothing that involves a computer. He's not doing any of that.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

And also, I feel like this is another little like, I don't know, thing to know about Christian. Like he's very, very like I don't even know what the word is like charismatic's like a fine word, but like more of just like he's a great people person. Oh, that's a good point. He's he's very good at just like the keeping the calm energy, like very kind, like what can I do to help you guys? Like, he's not like in the corner bug that he's there, like he's involved in like a fun, like the morale of the like the day. I don't know, it's just like he's good energy.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

My dad says, like, Christian is just the excitement guy, like you bring him along anywhere and he just kind of raises the vibe. Um, and it's important to me in my relationship with Christian that if there's ever something he doesn't want to do, I would rather he say no than like have a bad attitude about it. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing him to do something that makes me feel gross, you know. So I'm like, yeah, if you don't want to do it, like let's communicate that and I can arrange, you know, help. But when I was doing more like selling in the trailer, I would be, you know, we have the flower wagon, it's like a food truck, but for flowers, people would come up to the window and order something. Love having Christian there. Love that. Because I literally wouldn't talk to anybody. I just have my back turned to people making things and Christian, hey, how's it go? What are you guys doing today? That's such a fun Saturday. What can we make for you? Here are the sizes. Like he is so good at that. And on a wedding day, I can say, Hey, can you go ask the planner this? Or hey, can you go deliver these to the mother of the bride? Like, and he he's a good face.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

And that's not gonna be an awkward vibe. Like, it's gonna be like, Oh, that guy was so nice.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Like, yeah, Christian is incredible, and I love him so much, and I can't say enough uh how great he is for for event days, man.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

You

Comparing Marriages Without Instagram Myths

SPEAKER_00 16:38

know what? And I'm so happy for you. Like, I I mean, I don't have many friends with crappy, significant others, but sometimes you hear a story and you're like, hmm, do you hear what you just said? So just know that me and Johanna, when we complain to each other, it's usually and to our husbands who may or may not be listening, it's usually dish-related or like, could you just pick that up off the ground? But overall, these men are their both to support and we know.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

And yeah, like you said, like we do still complain. Of course, I have, of course, I have my they're not perfect, perfect, but like and I will say, as far as like comparison goes, because we always see these perfect marriages on Instagram, and you know, that sometimes gets tricky. I would say if you are listening to this and you're like, I'm a florist and my husband doesn't help at all, it's like, okay, well, every marriage is different, right? Like, you're gonna talk about Cody and the ways that he supports you. Uh, it's a lot different too with you having kids and us not having kids, right? Um, but I think it's good to have positive role models of like couples you look up to, and then you can ask yourself, yeah, do I feel like I could use more of that in my marriage? Do I feel like I'm communicating my needs to my partner? Um, so I think it can be good to have examples, role models, whatever, but we do have to be careful and remember that marriages are not perfect, and a lot of what we're seeing on social media, like they're showing that for a reason, they're posting those reels for a reason. Like they know they look good in those in those videos. So just keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Yeah, just food for thought. Food for thought. Um,

Cody The Big-Dream Business Ally

SPEAKER_00 18:22

okay, so my little backstory for Cody for you guys is that when I met Cody, me and Cody actually did a podcast episode like three years ago, I think. Um, and we talked about how we met and all of that. So if you really need a deep dive, you can go find that episode somewhere. And I can't remember what the episode's called, but you'll find it somewhere in the year 2024. Um okay, so Cody, one thing that has always like I guess would it outline the nature of our relationship and how he supports me is that when we met, um we were in our we were in our LDS singles ward and I was definitely shopping for uh you know, for some for some boys that could maybe, you know, could could help me out in my need for a significant other and the desires that I had there. Anyways, Cody was definitely on the top of that list, and I thought he was maybe not interested because he just like wasn't really like going for it. But he would always say like the nicest things, and I was like, who is this guy? And one of the things that I will always remember is I had I don't remember why we had this conversation, but I was talking to some people in the ward building just kind of casually, and I said something like, Yeah, like my dream goal. I think I was actually like kind of explaining my like feminism kick at the time, which hasn't really gone anywhere. But I was just like, Oh, like I really want to be really successful. I was like, I like want to buy myself a Range Rover, like I don't want my husband like buy me this car. Like, I want to like be self-made and like have this goal to like build, you know, buy my own dream car and like not have someone do it for me. And he wasn't even like maybe one of the main people I was talking to, but like he was just like listening and then was like, I buy I said, like, oh like I want to buy myself a Range Rover in 10 years, and he was like, You'll do it in five. And I was like, What the like that's so nice of you to say because like we didn't really know each other that well, and like he didn't know like anything I was doing for work, and I was just like, I don't like why would you say that? And he's like, No, like you're so confident and you're such a go-getter, like you'll do it in five years. Like, I'm confident, I like I know that. And I was like, This guy like doesn't even know me that well, and anytime I feel like people talk about like starting a business or they have this dream, I feel like people's knee-jerk reaction is usually like to play it safe, right? They're like, Oh, well, you know, it doesn't work out for everyone, or like, you know, it's okay if it doesn't happen right away, like be patient, like all those things are true, but like that's usually I feel like the response. Where Cody's always just like, yeah, like let's do it. Like, let's be millionaires. Like, he's just like, yeah, okay, why not? And like he's kind of a yes man in that aspect, and I think that that's kind of what he feeds for me sometimes. Yeah, I was thinking about that with Cody.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Like, I feel like you always are coming up with some new idea of something that you want to do in in the wedding industry, or something that you could do, or maybe this would help the business, whether that's you know, starting a podcast or buying your trailer to rent out for um weddings or starting the publication Salt and Veil. Like, there are all these different interests that you have. And I just feel like Cody's always on board for your like next business venture. And I think he is very, I don't know, like money mindset. Like he understands the back end and like the finances of your business more than Christian knows mine. And I feel like he's really good at being like, oh yeah, like we could totally do that. Um and kinda again, they yeah, like considering the finance. And helping you work that out of whether something is like plausible for you to to do, you know?

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Yeah, for sure. There's definitely like an idea I'm working on right now, and I'll be that girl and be like, I can't say too much yes. But I really can't, but it's actually been a really fun way for like our two worlds to glide. Cody does commercial real estate um for his job, and so he he just has a lot of different insight on like interest rates and pricing for different like lots or things like that. And he also is like a Facebook marketplace fiend. So like he's always looking at like yeah, different trailers or cars or whatever or houses, like just like for fun. So there's always like a lot of things that like I can bring up and that like kind of fit into like one of these niche categories of like, well, what's going on in the market? Would that be a good investment? Like, I don't know. So there's something we've been working on, and it's been really fun to really like get to use like his literal like job and kind of see our worlds collide a little bit. So we'll see if it ends up happening. We're still kind of feeling things out, but yeah, I always have a lot of ideas, and Cody really is always such a good sport to just like entertain it at least, even if it's like oh, maybe not right now. Like, he definitely will give me the space to like dream and dream big. And something else I really love about him, and like I guess kind of gives help on like the the his family background, I guess, um, is like he comes from like a traditional family, you know, set, and for me being a little more ambitious or like I don't know, business driven than some women feel like women should be, or like we were kind of talking about like the fascination of like the feminism and anti-feminism that I feel like is happening right now in the world. That's like a whole separate thought. But I was like, I just felt like sometimes I get guilt-tripped by other women, like, oh, but you're not home with your kids, and it's frustrating for me, obviously. But it's nice that I've never felt that from Cody a single time. Like, he's always like, 'Well, do you feel like you're missing out? Or like do you feel like you know, bad if you're not with the kids?' And if I'm like, 'Well, no, and then he's like, 'Okay, great, then nothing needs to change.' So he said a couple times, like, you know, listen, babe, like, if you can out-earn me, like I will stay home with the kids and you can just keep going. Like, I have no problem with that. And I I love knowing that because, like, you know, we'll manifest it. Like, yeah, like that would be the goal to like take business to all kinds of new levels that like that that could happen and like that he would he really would be okay with that. Like, he doesn't need to be the main character. He does not need to like have anything crazy going on. Like, he's really just happy when like we as a team are succeeding. And like, it's it's nice that our gender roles are a little more lax than than the traditional values that like we were all raised in, because that's not always the case.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Yeah,

Gender Roles Mental Load And Seasons

SPEAKER_01 25:01

when Christian and I got married, we were very, I feel like, in those roles because, like you said, like that's how we were raised. Um, and especially with our religious background and both of our families, I feel like were pretty traditional. Um largely due to the fact that they both had so many children, and child care for all those kids would definitely cost more than any income. A lot. Um, and I think it's been years of practice. Like you said earlier, we've been married for almost eight years now, and I love my marriage so much, and it has grown so much. And yeah, when we first got married, I was doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the grocery shopping. Um, and it's been really neat to see as we become more aware of gender roles and the mental load and everything that we as women carry. I communicate that with Christian. Christian and I talk all the time. We love to talk philosophy, we love to complain about society, whatever. And so he's very aware of all of this and all of my frustrations with this. And I was thinking about have you heard like the term of like, oh, like the laundry fairy or the garbage fairy? Like and how that traditionally we love that joke. Yes, it's traditionally like the woman's role. Like she's the fairy, she's putting away the dishes, she's like folding the laundry. Christians become like the fairy in our house. I just got down paper towels and I was like, when's the last time I did this? Like, I I don't change the paper towel role. I don't, like, I'm not doing the dishes, I'm not doing like these little things, refilling the water drawer with waters, like all of those little tasks. Christian went out of town for a week, and I was like, God no, like I everything I was feeling before of like I do so much around the house. Like he doesn't even know how much I do, like my mental load and all the little whatever. Out the window. Out the window because he was gone for a week. And by the time he got back, I was like, the house is a disaster. And yes, I'm in my busy season, like I have been overwhelmed with work, and so that kind of does shift. Like our dynamics and roles in the relationship do ebb and flow with the wedding season. Um, and right now I'm not really cooking and I'm not really doing a lot of cleaning, like he has taken that on. He's not working right now, so it it does shift. Um, but yeah, he was gone for that week, and I was like, he could not come home soon enough. I felt like I was falling apart.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

I love that. Um I'm trying to think. Well, okay, so and then Cody, Cody's involvement day of is non-existent. In the like in the nicest way, like Cody is he's watching the babies.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

That's huge, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:52

He does watch the kids if it's a if it's a weekend, like he's not at work. He will watch the kids obviously and like manage, you know, whatever chaos is going on at home. Um, he is really good, especially when I was pregnant. Like part of my the issue with this will come from I'm very independent as a as a person. Like I like to do things myself and I will totally ask for help if I need it. And when I'm pregnant, like Cody was lady loading and unloading the trailer every single day, like every single time. I was not lifting a finger. Granted, like, yeah, I had to take it really easy and like that last like a couple months. Um, but like he will do things, but it's kind of like he just like lets me run the show. Like I am in charge of what's going on, and when he knows that when I ask him for something, like he needs to help me. Um, like sometimes he'll tell the trailer to an event, like if if it's like my car load of stuff, and then the trailer and stuff in the truck, like he'll drive stuff up or back. Um, but for the most part, like he has never designed anything. I think there was one time I'm actually remembering, like, right before we got married, that he like had to help me with a wedding, like helped me get foam set up and everything. But he's not a Christian socially, like, he's very introverted, like he gets performance anxiety. Like, like a wedding day is his worst nightmare. Like, I'm not kidding.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Like, don't.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

When we started dating, he was like, I don't know how to tie this. I hate weddings, but it's like the social, like, you know, people are dancing and like you have to talk to people, and so like any like, but now weddings are just like a spark of like anxiety to him, like in general. So, like, he is just funny. He's just like, it's crazy that like you have a career in weddings, and like I don't enjoy like that atmosphere, and like you live for it. And anyway, so he's not super involved day of like at the event place, unless again, like I need it. It's more of the like unloading the car, helping me put stuff in the trash. Um, and again, like specific to when I was pregnant, or if I'm having one of those long days where like maybe I don't get a vendor meal, like what this was the best thing ever. And I was freelancing recently and we were laughing. I'm trying to convince Cody to do this. You guys, everyone go bully Cody online somewhere. I want Cody to start an Instagram. Maybe we can have him and Christian start an Instagram about like florist husbands or something, and like do like this is what your wife wants to see, like when she gets home from her event. It's a bath, a meal, and a clean house. Like, that is how you can support me. And he did that a lot when I was pregnant. Like, he was so good at like knowing that I was going to be absolutely exhausted, and like he had food right. He'd like, text me on your way back, I will have like some hot chocolate made for you. And especially at the end of my pregnancy, guys, I was so large and so tired. He had like a massage gift card, like I could literally go get a massage like the next day. Like, he'd book me a massage, like he was on top of it. And of course, now that I'm back to normal, like I I need a little bit of less like involvement on that end, but I do feel like it does come from communicating and like it does take the asking for help for me. It's like, hey, listen, I'm really struggling, like, I really need you to do this thing for me, and definitely our household roles shift during wedding season. Like, he is picking up that slack. Um, and I don't know, I just feel like it's nice because we can kind of like give each other that space to like adjust. And I'm like, hey, it's off season, I'm doing way more, you know, special projects and whatever, and cooking and whatever. And then when it's busy season, he kind of knows, like, yeah, I'm not gonna see my wife most weekends, and we're gonna make the most of a time that we have together.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

I will say both of our husbands are really great at not making us feel guilty for being busy, at like not being like, Oh, I never see you. I wish we could do something fun. Yeah, none of that. Um, okay, it's so interesting. Like, I'm thinking about all the differences like between Cody and Christian. Like, Cody's not helping you during the event, but you're also not being like, I sure wish Cody would help me. Like, you're like, no, I'm good. If I yeah, if I needed it, maybe I'd ask, but like, but I was thinking, like, you do have interns, and I don't have interns. And so I kind of feel like a lot of the random things that Christian's doing, like even things like breaking down boxes, like you can have your interns do those things. Um super interesting about Cody being an introvert, and you're an extrovert, would you say that? Yes, for sure. Because I'm an introvert. I definitely like I'm drained, drained after hanging out with people. Um, Christian is like poster child for extrovert, like he core. So that's really interesting, those dynamics, you know. And then also, in addition to you guys having the kids uh to you know be managing and and making sure that somebody's with the children. Um Cody also makes more money than Christian does. So that's kind of a different dynamic

Money Talks Accounting Anxiety And Control

SPEAKER_01 33:00

too in our relationship. Yeah, like with us, I'm like, all right, Christian, you gotta help me. Like, we need we need to make this money, and I don't want to be pay paying somebody.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yeah, we'll make the jokes like that. Cody's like on my taxes, like he's part, he's a manager in the business because that allows us to write off like obviously more things, especially with travel. Like, if we're traveling and we consider it a business trip, like we each get like a per diem per day for any employees, and like he's considered an employee. And then, like, I'll make a joke every now and then I'm like, Well, it's time for you to like cash in your employee status. Because like, you haven't done anything in a while. And like, we keep kind of like, yeah, Cody, like you do my accounting. Cause like I kind of do the thing. This is maybe bad to admit, but I'm like, it's kind of just like all in my head, and he'll be like, How much did you make? And I'm like, I don't know, like divide it by four, or like divided by 3.5, and like that's how much I made. And he's just like, I don't understand. Like, how do you not know? And I'm like, I just like I just know, okay, like the math is in my head. I'm paying my taxes, I'm paying for all the stuff, and then there's just like this is like another kind of I don't know, connected, but maybe not. But like, this is another joke that's maybe not a joke. We are gonna actually see it there, but specific to being able to talk about money because I have a hard time with it. This is Cody's joke is my money is your money, and your money is your money. Like, I have a separate business account, and like I'm he has the login info, but he never goes in there, and it's kind of like my secret little like hiding place. Like, I just like keep money in there and like I don't pay myself out regularly, where I know a lot of people will do that. I kind of just keep it in there. I know how much I am able to like spend and I kind of write off my lifestyle as I go. So if I'm buying something that's related to work or you know, obviously wholesale stuff, like I just kind of pay as I go and write those things off later instead of like paying myself out. But then it's like I can see obviously, like I have a joint account with Cody, so like I know what he makes for work or like what we have, and then he's like, So how's the business doing? Like he doesn't really ever know, and then we'll kind of joke because then I'll be like, Well, like I have some money I can spend, and he'll be like, Wait, how much do you have in there? And it's just like funny because he'll get like kind of mad, like, and and then I'm like, Well, you're welcome. Like, I totally came through, and he's like, I just need to know these things, like you just keep it secret, but I don't know, like I kind of just like having like my thing, and it just comes with like my independence. Like, I just I don't know what it is. I just really like to have my own little my own little thing going on and having control over all the things, but our goal for like this year is really to like have him be more involved in the back end of stuff and the accounting because he wants it to be way more neat and tidy. And I'm like, Kate, if you need it to be that way for your personal sake, then you can deal with it. I don't have the time to like be making crazy spreadsheets, and like I'm sure there are so many. This is where I'm type B. I just it's not the place that I want to spend all my time.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

Yeah, so that's a goal for the that's funny because I'm like more type A than you are when it comes to like having my taxes. Yeah, I have it all written out.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Um yeah, and you like keep your receipts for stuff, yes. I keep all my receipts, and I'm like, yeah, I don't know, I'll just like go type in gas into like my transactions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Um that's interesting though, like about therapy and money things, because yeah, that's the topic in therapy all the time for me. And I think when you grow up not having money and money just truly is safety, it's a sensitive subject.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

It's hard. And like we really can't pinpoint what it is about like talking about money. Like it just gives me anxiety. Like, I just feel like I'm in trouble. Even like like we're we're not in trouble, but we're like, we're both good here, but yeah, like I don't like talking about it. It just like makes me feel stressed out, like that I'm gonna end up doing the math and then being like, oh my gosh, I made a huge like I just kind of avoid it altogether, even though like it's never really been the case before. There's maybe been once or twice where I feel like oh I kind of overextended myself, or like I kept spending the way that I do during wedding season, and it's January, so like yeah, I'm kind of cutting it a little bit close. But for the most part, I'm like, yeah, I've never like had that issue, so like I don't really know where it comes from or why that's like my knee-jerk reaction, but it's definitely something I want to like work through because yeah, that's like the one thing that Cody and I can't talk about. Like, yeah, I'm just like, I don't want to have a budget meeting. Can we please not? And he's like, why? Like, we just need to like to go talk through our finances. I'm like, no, I like just send me, send me a recap. I don't want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Yeah. I will say, kind of with what you're saying, of feeling like you're in trouble or like, oh no, what are we gonna find out if we like look into the money? Uh does that mean I've been a bad spender or whatever? Her first 100k, that's uh an Instagram handle, her first 100k. She is amazing at talking to women specifically about how to make money, how to manage your money. And she talks all about kind of changing this thing that we tell ourselves as women of like, oh, I'm just bad at money and I I'm a frivolous spender. And and she talks about how to get a hold of your finances, feel confident in the way that you spend your money and save your money, and feel like, no, I know what I'm doing because me and you are still in business, right? Obviously, we know what we're doing, and so we need to be more confident. And yeah, and I think part of that is probably being a little bit more organized and like writing down how much money we're making and keeping track of that. I don't know. I I still haven't come to terms with that part.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

I'm still not ready to be more organized. And I think that's the pros and cons, right, of like running your own business and especially a business that is very like not new, but I think like it's just different work than like most people, and so it's like we can really write our own rules, and it's not like you have to have everything figured out all the time. And like we were talking about in our last episode with like recipes, like you can like give yourself room to like improve things and to adjust things and find like the perfect balance. And I think for me, I've been like, if it ain't broke, like don't fix it. Like my my little money process has worked, but I think moving forward it would be nice to like get like I'm using quotation marks, guys, air quotes like get paid like more consistently of like, oh, I'll actually transfer myself the money out of here and every month and use it where I kind of just like I know what's available and what's not, obviously. And like it works for me, but obviously with a spouse who doesn't know like how to do the magical math inside my head, it doesn't make as much sense. So definitely interesting stuff, and I think it's just fun to see like how our significant others support us during event weeks, and it definitely does look different for us, but I feel like we both do still feel supported throughout the process. I feel like that's what matters.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Jinx. Yeah. Um, any last-minute like fun stories about the husbands or pet peeves or like we love this?

Viral Husband Content And Sweet Stories

SPEAKER_00 40:38

I'm trying to think. I think for me, it's just coming back to this. I really am on this, like, Cody needs to have this Instagram about like, because anytime it's it's I've noticed it with a lot of people. Anytime you should try it in Italy. I'm telling you, if you make a video about your husband doing something with your business, these videos go viral every time. I've posted one video about Cody, and like it was literally just like classical music and like uh like to the husbands out there like doing this or whatever, and like totally went viral. And I was like, what the F? Like I've been making content, like, and like for some reason, like people see them like in the space. Like, I don't know what it is. I'm just convinced like the algorithm loves to see like men involved in like a woman's business in a way that like is just non-traditional. So that's like my goal is I've been like, Cody, can you please like just start making funny videos about like you know, you unloading the trailer at the end of the night, or like I don't even know. I'm like, there's just like it's bound to happen, it's bound to go well. If you're listening, try it out. Try to have a I'm gonna do a new video. I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 41:49

Plus, I just feel like Christian's gonna vibe in Italy, like his hair and like I feel like he's gonna be looking at Allen. I know. Okay, my last little uh cute moment with Christian the other day. Um, I had flowers. I was doing a video interview with a local radio station, and so I just wanted to have flowers in the trailer, you know, because they're talking to me about being a florist. So I bought these flowers and I kind of was able to like find some things to do with them. Like I sold some arrangements to um a client, and then there were just a few things left over that like I wanted to keep for me and a few things I just tossed. And I was running out to go do something, errands or something. And I said to Christian, hey, can you throw away the cosmos? Okay, wait, this is the other thing about Christian. He knows like every flower name. Basically, every flower name that I know, like he knows. Maybe not every, maybe 60%. But he knows a lot of flower names. So I'm like, Hey, can you throw away the cosmos? You can throw away the Kalas, you can throw away the greenery. I was like, But will you make me a vase arrangement on the bar? And he was like, Yeah. And I was like, with the nine bark, which is, and then he finished my sentence and he said, with that big foliage that kind of looks like it's folly. And I was like, Yeah, that is the nine bark. And I was like, you just have to know if you're putting it in that terracotta vase. And then he said, That I have to make sure and put it in a glass vase inside the terracotta vase because it's not water, like it's not water safe, you know? The terracotta doesn't, yeah. And I was like, Yes, exactly. And he was like, Okay. And I just was like, Whoa, like it was, I was kind of like, it was kind of hot. I was kind of like blown away. I was like, oh my, like it it shows me that he listens to me, he pays attention to me, and that the things that matter to me mattered to him. And I came home and it was like in this cute face on the bar, it looked so good. Uh, so that was kind of kind of sweet.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Um, okay, I feel like the last one that I should answer, this is also about Christian. So we were in I don't know if we can say the location anymore, but we were doing a proposal that was amazing. And Christian was there, and his dad, Mark, was there. So I have definitely seen both of these Hogman. And like their capabilities, uh, work horsemen. This was just like a classic, the whole experience was really sweet. Okay, so like Christian has such a great attitude, and like he's not afraid to like be told something. So Johanna and I like he went to go get a U-Haul, and it was like I think the first one was like 28 feet long, like a like a big U-Haul, you guys. And they had like a huge, amazing system. They had like shelving, they had like strapped to the sides of the trailer, they saran wrapped it so like it wouldn't fall off, like super genius. But even then, I was just kind of like, I know, like it's like the math that we do in our head, right? Like, I was like, there is no way that these flowers are gonna fit in one trailer. And so, like, even before they started loading, I was like, Johanna, I think you're gonna need a second U-Haul. And we were only pressed for time because like the U-Haul place was gonna close. So I was like, I think you're gonna need another U-Haul. And you were like, You think so? And I was like, Yeah, because like look at this. Like, it was just like, I don't know, if you know, you know. Like, you can just look at something and be like, that's probably like 10 feet, whatever. I'm like, yeah, like I just think we're gonna need it. So Christian gets there with the U-Haul. He's like amped, he's like feeling good, and you're like, hey, I think we need to go get another U-Haul. And he's like, No, no, no, no, no, like just let me try. Like, I feel like we're gonna be totally fine. And I'm just like laughing because I'm like, I I like know with a certainty, like we're gonna need another one.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

And I actually think we've told this story before on the podcast, but like in this moment, I looked at you, and like both me and you just were looking at each other when Christian's like, no, it'll be fine, like let me try. And we're both like, yeah, we know, we know he's gonna need another one.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

But we're like, yeah, like but then we were like, we're gonna let him he needs to do it. Like, and that's how Cody is too. Like, I don't know if it's the man thing, like he like needs to know for himself. And I was like, Okay, like we'll just wait. And it was just so sweet when they got to that point, and he was like, We're gonna need another you haul. And he was like, All right, I'll go get one. Like it, like he just like accepted, like, okay, I tried it, it didn't work, and I just was yeah, it was just so it was so comical, and I mean, and they're so great, and they went and got another one. Um, yeah, like it was just like, yeah, no big deal, we'll go get another one, but it was just yeah, the way it was like we know what we need, and he was like, No, like we can totally get it, like we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_01 46:15

And we're like, Okay, since we're talking about this event, um, and when I say, you know, Christian was made for me, and he was like created by like these circumstances, his dad is so great. And on this trip, um, I I think it was the night before the event, it was around 8 p.m. I remember it was dark, and I was like, I just want to go to bed, but I have to go to Walmart because I need another pair of period panties because I swear I am on my period always during the worst times. Like, my body's magical, and I'm gonna be on in Italy, so super, super stoked about that. Um, anyways, Mark hears me telling Christian this that I need to go get period panties, and he's like, just send me a picture of what you want and I'll go get it for you. And so he's like, he goes to Walmart and he's like looking through all the sizes, and he was like so annoyed. He was like, the display was just hung terribly. All the sizes were out of order. So I put them all in order and then he got the ones I needed. It was so nice. And then he changed his flight for after the event because I was kind of getting stressed about getting everything done and cleaned up after the event. He changed his flight for me. We went home like the morning after the event, and he made sure the space was cleaned. He took the van that we were using, took all of the garbage to the dump, went and had the van like deep. I mean, he didn't have the van deep cleaned, he deep cleaned the van, you know. Like he did all of my returns for everything I bought and then didn't end up using, so we didn't just have to eat that cost. Like, he did everything that I needed done, and then he flew home. And it was just amazing. That's so nice.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

And he is going to Italy, right? He is

Italy Prep And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 47:52

he's going to Italy to be team muscle. So I'm really excited. I feel like we should have a whole episode, a debrief on the Italy event after it happens, like the crazy stuff that we know is just gonna inevitably happen, and like the good stuff, but like I just I'm like that's kind of the thrill of our jobs. Like we always figure it out, you know, like even the worst thing that could happen.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

Yeah, my dad always says something will go wrong. It's just a matter of what it is and what you're gonna do about it.

SPEAKER_00 48:25

Exactly. And I just I'm like, you know what, you've had all these years of crazy crap happening, and at this point, like what what's next? Like, what have we not dealt with? So super excited next time you guys hear from us. So it'll be after you hear this episode. We will have a lot of fun updates to give for you guys, and I'm super excited. I hope you guys enjoyed this little episode. Anything else, Joanna, that you wanna end us off with?

SPEAKER_01 48:57

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Um, we're just lucky girls with uh great guys. We're lucky girls with great guys who were raised right, and you know, if you're working on that dynamic, it'll come.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

It'll come, and that's the thing. Yeah, it's like they were raised great, and also marriage is about communicating, and it's okay to ask for what you need. And like I said, when we were first married, super traditional roles, and that's been a process of getting to the to the place where we are now where he's just like you know, incredible.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Yeah. So you make it work, you make it happen. Well, we are so glad you came to sit with us, and uh we'll see you guys next week. Bye.